I wrote this post a few months ago and had left it as a draft. Re-reading it now, I needed this reminder. The emotions continue to go up and down over our life here in Virginia. I will admit to more discontentment than contentment. But reading words like these remind me that I am getting there - working through the hurdles and learning to find joy wherever I am. If you are struggling with the concept of home, perhaps this can be of some encouragement to you as well as to me. To finding home wherever it might be for now! (Some throwback pictures from our old house. It is fun to remind myself of our home from not that long ago.)
One of the biggest thing I have learned in our move from California to Virginia is that home can be anywhere. I love our home (past and present), I love spending the majority of my days at home, and I love making a house a home. I was pretty in love with our last home. We talked about how it could be our forever home. We liked our neighbors and neighborhood. There was potential to grow (remodel) if we ever needed more space. We were pretty content.
I'll admit, my heart still yearns for California, but I have very quickly fallen in love with our new home. While there are things about where we live that don't feel like home yet, our actual physical house now feels like home.
Because honestly, home is wherever my husband and son are at. The thing is, I was so attached to the concept of home and our physical home in California. Choosing on my own to just leave it sounded heart breaking. And perhaps it was. But now that I have actually gone through the large act of leaving what I considered home, the thought of doing it again (not that we are any time soon!) doesn't feel so overwhelming.
I am grateful for this experience. I would hate to miss out on an important part of my life experience because I just couldn't leave a certain house or city. While our move was a choice, it was highly impacted by job security. But with how obsessed I am with "home" I am not sure I could leave it under other circumstances.
I was talking with a friend of mine who has made multiple out of state moves for her husband's work and all of her children and grandchildren live in another state. She shared that it is hard to be away from her kids but that they look forward to retirement where they will simply move to wherever their children are. They have mostly stopped traveling/vacationing and have instead used their time and finances to visit their family.
Not knowing where we will be when we have adult children, I still want to consider that there is no guarantee that they will remain in the same town or state. I want to be the parents and grandparents who have the ability to visit as often as we would like. I want my priorities to be able to shift to be able to be where my family is.
We live about as far away as we could get from California making it hard and expensive for our family to come visit. But every visit that is made means so much. The simplest things of having my mom come and help me paint or fold laundry is LIFE GIVING. In this stage of life with a little baby, some days I just need that comfort in company.
I would like to continue to be wise with our finances and living within our means so that we have financial freedom as we get older to be where we need to be. I would like to continue to live simply and being sensitive to what we put on our schedule so that I can be available to people first. I would also like to continue to travel (even with a child) whenever we can.
Another friend of mine (who is near retirement) shared that due to some of her husband's health issues, this stage of life has been very different than what she had imagined. His health keeps them at home as well as keeps her having to work. She had hopes of traveling together which now is no longer an option.
Life happens and we don't always get everything we want. But I want to learn from these stories and be intentional about living my best life now.
I am learning to be more flexible. I am learning to not let life stop because it is hard. Some of our days being away from "home" is hard. But as we make a new home, there are so many sweet moments and adventures right in front of us. In order to make our current life feel like home, I have had to let go of where home had to be. Home can be anywhere and I am happy to have the chance to create that space for our family.
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