I would say that one of the biggest things I have learned in my first year of marriage is that I do not have to deal with other people’s drama. I have a long history of being drawn to people who “need” me, always wanting everyone to like me, and taking to heart people’s judgments and opinions.
Now that I am married I feel like I have found a new sense of responsibility to myself and my husband. We come first. And in order to protect and grow our marriage it has to be that way. I realize that this sometimes comes across as “mean” to some people but letting people walk all over me is also “mean” as well. I have found myself continually trying to grow relationships with people who do not have the time or the willingness to make the same effort. I spent time and energy trying to reconcile with difficult people. And then I realized that while I was doing all of this, I was missing out on investing in people that really mattered…like my husband…and people who wanted to have a normal fun healthy friendship with me. I have learned to step back. I have learned to let go. I have learned to let it not get to me. In a sense I have learned to put up a wall of protection not letting people take advantage of me and realizing I am allowed to choose who I spend my time with.
As a people pleaser this has been hard. But this isn’t high school anymore. I don’t need the drama. I don’t have energy for the drama. Instead I have real relationships that build me up, encourage, and support. So save the drama for your momma.
Photos: People that get me
How have you set boundaries with difficult people in your life?