Many of you know that over the past few years I have been a substitute teacher part time. When I graduated college with my teaching credential I decided I did not want to teach full time. Most of this was because of my desire to stay home.
Substitute teaching is sort of perfect for the type of lifestyle we choose to live. I can work when I want and if we need the extra money, but there is no long term commitment.
Near the end of this school year I found myself chatting with a fellow sub during our lunch about subbing and life. Somehow the conversation directed itself towards how hard it is to be a sub and that you don’t get paid for the amount of work you do. This conversation was such a revelation to me because someone else, choosing to do the same job as me, expressed the negative feelings I had towards my job. It is as if a light bulb turned on. I do not like to sub.
She then asked me about my husband, being at home, our photography, etc. And she turns to me and says, “if you have other things you can do and you don’t have to do it for the money, why are you doing it?”
I DON’T KNOW.
And suddenly my world changed. I had been doing something that was very obvious to me that I did not enjoy. Why would I want to do it part time if it was something I didn’t want to do full time. It would probably be more enjoyable full time because I could invest myself more into a group of kids.
I was doing it because it was there and I felt like I should. Until this wonderful God ordained conversation cleared things up, which apparently now, was quite obvious.
For the first time since I have started working as a substitute teacher, I was able to truly walk away {I am pretty sure part of me wanted to walk away ever since I started!}. I have shared so much with you all about this challenge of being a stay at home wife and balancing other avenues of making extra money. I need to be true to who I want to be and not hold on to things for no reason.
Another big aspect of this decision is that I have started to watch my sweet little nephew part time. It is a small extra area of income but it is also a great opportunity to invest in my nephew and my family. I have learned so much in my small time with him {breathe, if you had a little surprise baby you would most likely survive!} and have fallen in love with him so much. I am thankful that I am available and have the time to be the support my family needs.
There are so many opportunities out there that I have been neglecting by continuing to do something that was draining every inch of me. I had to let go of feeling bad to say no to teachers I adored and to no longer have a go-to job to fill in awkward conversation about what I do all day.
I may disappoint and I may get weird looks from people when I try to explain that I cook, clean, blog, take occasional photos, watch my nephew, and craft. But that is okay because at the end of the day I am responsible for what makes me happy and what is best for our home.
