As I look back at 2012 I cannot help but look back at the last three years...the last three years of my marriage. I feel like I have learned so much and changed in my heart this last year as a result of the previous two years.
The first year of our marriage, 2010, I was on cloud nine. It was probably one of the greatest years of my life. After what seemed like forever I got to marry my best friend, have a home, be a wife, and explore a whole new level of my creative being through having, decorating, and running a home. My husband and I had zero commitments and life was all about us. We did not have internet in our home at the time and I didn't have a smart phone. When I was home, my focus was on our home. It was a beautiful simple time.
I always look back and remember how everyone warned me how hard marriage was going to be. How the first year you are going to hash it all out. When in fact, for us, it was the exact opposite. We hashed it out in nearly five years of dating. We did not have many surprises left. Being married was like a breath of fresh air. A life were I could thrive at who I wanted to be. I learned that we were allowed to be different. We did not have to be the norm.
Year two was 2011. This was a darker year for me personally. I was very selfish and depressed. I hated my job and just wanted to be at home. I ran back to food for comfort after a steady two years of maintaining a forty-five pound weight loss. There was nothing wrong in our marriage; I was just depressed. I lost sight of who I was designed to be. I let distractions like food and the internet get in the way of who I wanted to be.
I strived to go into 2012 setting better boundaries, letting go of unhealthy relationships, and being true to myself. I learned I needed to let go of what the world said I needed to do with my life and let go of living a life so concerned about pleasing others. I also quit my job to take care of my nephew. Perhaps one of the most freeing things I have ever done.
Year three. 2012. This year has been my healing year. I started disciplines that set me on the path of peace. I surrounded myself with focus. I decided that my life at home was one that I wanted to truly grasp and find great pride in. I accepted I was different from the norm once again and that in accepting that and loving it I was a happier person.
I sense 2013 is going to be an amazing year. I go in it with confidence of who I am and what I want out of life. I feel called to encourage woman to go against the world's norm and bring back a passion in their home and family life.
But I would not be here if I didn't have to fight for it myself.
I am thankful for the last three years. They have taught me a lot and have made me into the person I am today. I look forward with great hope for what the year has to offer.
Perhaps you are like me a year ago. Struggling and grasping on to finding your purpose. Let me tell you a little secret...you can have the life you want. You just have to choose it. Make the sacrifice. Cut ties. May 2013 be the year you thrive.
