Since I shared a few months ago about my bout with depression, I thought I would share a little update on how I am doing and what I am doing to deal with and find freedom from a toxic thought life--in case you were wondering. :)
First, I sought out accountability. I have been meeting with a mentor of mine once a week this entire summer. She is someone I trust and know is non-judgmental. I feel safe to tell her every little silly, selfish, or embarrassing thought. Having someone like this has freed me to be open about my thought life and help me to understand what it all means as well as how I can change it.
Together we have been reading Breaking Free and I have been learning how to let go of strongholds in my life as well as how to take control and surrender my thought life.
A few of my favorite quotes are displayed around the house to remind me of the freedom I can have in my life. I think the biggest thing I have learned through all of this is that I don't have to live this way. I don't have to be a slave to my unhealthy thinking as well as the unrealistic pressures I put on myself.
Here are a few of my favorites right now:
"Invite God to be the watchman on the wall of your mind."
"Ask God to satisfy all my longings and fill all my hollow places with his lavish, unfailing love."
"We fulfill who we are meant to be when God is recognized in us."
As for my self esteem and weight issues, I have fluctuated about three pounds down and then three pounds up. But for the first time in a long time I feel like I am learning to just embrace my body where it is. I feel strong and happy. I look forward to my workouts and, for the most part, have more steady eating habits. I know it is a lifelong struggle but I am learning to find my worth in more than just what my body looks like or what it says on the scale.
I still have low days but not as many as before. And when they do happen they only last for a short period of time (versus an entire day). I have learned to acknowledge what is going on and choose to change it.
Blogging has really picked up for me since I have had a healthier mindset. By stepping away for a little bit to work on myself, I have found that I have come back with so much more to give. The words flow, the projects get done, and by changing some of my online habits, I come to the computer excited and inspired.
So I just wanted to take the time to say thank you once again for your kind words and support. I know so many of you care very much about me and it continually blows my mind to have such a supportive community of women I have never even met! So as a good friend should, I wanted to let you know that I am doing well!
And if you can relate to this in any way, I just want to share with encouragement that you too can be free from the strongholds in your life. Just like I say about simple living and the home you create--you CAN have the life you want! It takes work and healing but you don't have to live this way anymore. Amen!?
xoxo
Glad to hear you're doing better! :o)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're feeling better, honey! You are such a lovely person inside and out. I'm so lucky to know you!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'd really like to hear what online habits you've changed. Maybe you could even turn your answer into a blog post! :o) I get so bogged down by trying to keep up with so many websites that I'm not really sure how to participate in all of them and still enjoy it. There's just too many for me to keep up with.
Hi there, I had severe depression following a life changing accident many years ago. I kept going for 2 years after the accident with a mask up pretending I was coping and not recognising where my mental state was before it was too late. I had to give up work due to my disability and felt I'd lost much of my identity. But, I too have learnt to chose how I react to my disability. Now my mental state has improved it is easier to cope with my disability. It has freed me to be a stay at home mum. We are much worse off financially but richer in other ways - and my target of frugal living gives me a challenge! It's hard and I will be on medication for life but there are positives if we believe in the path we are on. I limit my time on line and all technology as too long does have an impact on my mental wellbeing. I have found that true friendships offer real support and help rather than vacuous facebook etc. Anyway, that's just my perception and I have a post planned for my blog to talk about my disability/mental illness etc. It's always good to hear positivity coming from such hard circumstances. Well done - keep doing what works for you and remember we are our own worst critics - no one else (of any merit) would think that way about you. I'm quite new to your blog but I do find it really inspiring to have read this post. J9 x
ReplyDeleteAmen! I'm so glad you're doing better. :)
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