We may not always see eye to eye, but for the most part my husband and I agree on all major life issues and decisions. We share the same beliefs and aspects on life. We are on the same page when it comes to the foundation of our life together.
But this didn't just happen out of nowhere or that we just lucked out at being soul mates. We dated for almost five years and we hashed it all out. To go back in time, I wish I could tell my 22 year old self that being patient was a good thing. Those discussions, crying, and questioning of our relationship led to a firm understanding that we, in fact, did want to look out into the world in the same direction...for the rest of our lives. But it was hard. But we are better for it.
Once we had an understanding about the big things, we could move on to some of the smaller but still important areas of life. Like how we like to spend our time, what we are passionate about, and what we invest our time and money into.
My husband likes to watch TV. I like to be active. He likes to dirt bike. I like to read books. He likes tools and cars. I like crafts and pillows. And because we both understand these are important to each of us, we make room for all of them in our life. We definitely may argue over some of these things or get annoyed with each other (the DVR is full again? you bought another pillow?) but we try to respect and honor each others interests.
I have my own dirt bike and he knows what ombre is. We spend our weekends at car junk yards and craft stores. The thing is, instead of just respecting and allowing each other to do our own thing, we do these things together. Because we want to spend time together. But even more because we want to embrace and support each other in our individual passions.
It gets harder as the years go by and I am sure it will be even more challenging when we have kids but I have decided early on that I do not want to be that wife that has no interest in my husband's interests. I don't want to be that wife who does everything on her own. I want to continue to go through life being my husband's best friend. And though I realize this is very optimistic for years and years together, I think if we make it a priority this dream of a happy life long marriage can be a reality.
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I love this post. I'm older (33) but I just moved in with my fiancé. I'm trying to learn how to live with him. He's the same way about my pillow obsession!! Or home decor for that matter! And I need to remeber he doesn't like clutter. Clutter to him is the cute vignettes we love to put out!!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely love the part about how you dirt bike and your husband knows about ombre. I think this is a great point about doing things together, and something I'm going to be working on myself.
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