On Sunday we were driving home from church and a moment of peace and clarity came over me --
Our church, that we love, recently moved and changed it's format. While we are in support of these changes, we felt that it was no longer a good fit for our family with young children. So over the past few months we have been trying new churches. In the mean time we were still attending our old church once a month.
And while things have been fine in this in between season, a series of small events happened this Sunday that lead me to this realization. As we all sat quietly in the car on the drive home, this thought came to me - "this is too much for your family."
I was hesitant to give it much thought. But as I sat with it, I knew it was what I needed to hear in this moment. I already feel like we do so little in comparison to the norm of society when it comes to dragging our kids places. Yet, this once a month event turned into a stretch.
We were all still going for me. Because we loved our church and I didn't want to let it go. And my sweet little family is always willing to do what mama wants. But here we were. It was up to me to see and say, "this is too much." The long drive, eating packed lunches on the car ride home, and pouring time and energy into a community that I know, truthfully, is not the community for us anymore.
We strive for simple most days - close to home, connecting in our community, a mix of fun for our kids but not so much that fun is about entertainment, and valuing slowness over busy. It feels like a constant battle these days to stick to our values. So much that even this one monthly event felt like a compromise to something better.
So instead of holding on so tight, I was able to loosen my grip. I surrendered and opened up my heart to what is next.
Our family is in a season of change. We have lived in Washington for four years now. With no moving plans in our near future, it feels confusing to stay put yet be in a place of uncertainty. We added a fourth child, started at new schools for our kids, and now are looking for a new church. Pandemic friends have moved on to other things and I feel like we are starting all over again. While the everyday feels the same, my heart feels elsewhere.
It almost seems easier to change our zip code. Things are uncomfortable, it's time to move! But instead we stay. Because that is what we are called to do. So I open my hands for whatever comes next trusting we are right where we are supposed to be.
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